One is a lonely number,you say?

This is a letter to myself as a future 20 year old.


Dear Twenty-year old me,
My,You've grown into a fine young lady,haven't you?I sit here,your 16 year old self propped up in bed on a soft warm night.Yeah right.Actually,at this very moment,I'm trying my hardest to tolerate these awful tummy cramps which I hope you don't get anymore(Please tell me you don't!)Anyway,I don't feel too great now and I spend a large fraction of my time wishing things are easier in your world.

Life now,its not so bad actually.But I'm still wearing my smog-tinted glasses so you must know how things are.Your lethargy is killing me!I sleep excessively now.Because its only then that I don't have to deal with humans and their shenanigans.Its like being dead for a short while...Being awake makes me see people.And all I see is ugly people.And by ugly,I mean their souls.I know i know,who am I to judge.:)But you're me and I know you get me more than anyone.I've always wanted time to just whiz by me but I'm not so sure anymore.There's just so much to do and with the way things are going,24 hours is too little to call it a day.I feel so incapable and exhausted all the time.The lack of motivation in my life is bothering me but I tell myself it doesn't.Its this huge elephant in my drawing room that I'm so desperate to avoid noticing and pretend like I'm living in vacuum.I know I'm taking my youth and energy for granted.There's so much I can do,but I'd rather squirm under my blanket and sleep.Like I'm dead.Its a lot more easier.

There are just so many questions.How long is your hair?Have you finally decided on your tattoo?Or did you get it already?!Where?!Is college everything you dreamt it would be?

But most importantly,are you getting closer to the person you've always wanted to be?You'll get there,don't you worry.Don't let yourself sink into ever thinking you wont.Your life is yours to play with.Your family loves you,you've got your head well on your shoulders and you're not dying of cancer(yet-haha).Things will only get better,right?I will get past this phase,right?I'll make it out of this in good shape,wont I?Although,noone beats me at bringing your self esteem to a painful low,I
m also your best believer.So sink your teeth into evry opportunity and the brutual homosapiens in your way?Ask them to suck it.I've never told you this before because I thought you knew.You are one amazing woman.Knowing you,you're bound to forget it along the way.Just try not to take it as harsh and yes,I love you.

Love,
Me.