She could feel it blazing within her.The way her voice broke a little and went an octave higher.The way hot blood flushed to her cheeks.The way the forced-back tears were blurring her vision.The way she could feel herself trembling,trying with all her might to keep her shoulders straight...She knew it all a little too well.She blinked back tears.I will not cry..She wouldn't give in.Not for this.Not again.She tried distracting herself.She didn't need to hear this anymore.Not again.Think happy thoughts.She thought of the lonely yellow crayon in her drawer-the one thats been in the very same place for years,she thought about bubbles and balloons.Polar bears.The way he called her 'loser girlfriend' and smiled her favorite smile.Ice cold Pepsi,her feet buried in the sand with just her toes sticking out,thunderstorms.Her dog's eyes which looked like a bottomless well of melted chocolate.The way how everything felt so easy around Barbie and Polka with 'fireflies' playing in the background.
No,Happy thoughts didn't work.They never did.She should know by now.I will not cry.But she did.Like every other time.This wasn't new.It was like a re-run of one worn-out episode of Gray's Anatomy.She ran her eyes across the tablecloth.The blotted ink seeped between the cloth fibres.There,she saw it.Just like every other time.Its funny how all of a sudden even the mutest of all things,such as the table cloth,have thier own story to tell.Maybe the tablecloth could tell you my story too.After all,its been a part of the episode-a silent spectator,hardly noticed but very much there.
But her trail of thoughts finally came down to this.The ingress of the admittance of defeat.One big fat drop of salty emotions landed on the plate.Great,I've done it again.The tear followed by another one in no time.Then,another.and another.Soon enough,she was a mess.A helpless smile tinted the pallor in her face as she silently made the same old promise.
I will not cry the next time.
The way she wanted to write about it.She knew it all a little too well.
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and it happens again..
ReplyDeletedont let anything get to you :)
Whoa, barefoot on broken glass?
ReplyDeleteDamnn, you're growing up! :|
Even though that's a good thing, it's kinda scary too. :)
But but but, this one is awesome as hell! Keep it coming?
@ dreamy princess,its an in-out thing,this thing.
ReplyDelete@Thresia,..hope this header remains there for long!ive been changing them like the colors on my nails:P
n thanks..I feel grown-up too.A little.
:)