I'll miss you.

......."Swathi,I'm leaving today..."


That's what I heard when I answered the phone this morning.Goodbye,goodbye.I hate that word.Where the heck is the "good" in goodbye?It feels so lousy just saying the word.Why do people leave?Why do we have to grow up?Why cant we always live in one time period?WHY?WHY?WHY?


..But,then again,I guess goodbyes are a part of life.And I just have to deal with it-just like everyone else.But,why now?I write this because I'm disturbed that my friend (lets call her Y for matters of security) is leaving to Mangalore to do her 11Th and 12Th standard.It seemed so out of the blue when she told me.Y's one of my first friends at school.I was the new girl at school in the 6Th grade.I felt like I belonged to an entirely different planet.There were kids who were friendly and nice,but,I just couldn't feel at peace with any of them.An entire year went by and I still didn't feel like I "belonged" to my new school.That's when Y walked in.We were made to sit next to each other and we just "clicked"!From then on,there was no turning back.I did make a lot of friends,but in my list of REAL friends,she would always be among the tops.Its like the world's off your shoulders when you're with her.We've seen so much together,She and I.She was one of the very few who was around for more than just the laughs and the fun.I've seen her cry and she's seen me cry.She knows all there is to know about me.I can just be "me" with her.And she was never one to judge me.We did have a rough patch somewhere along the path.There was anger.There was hurt.But we made through it all and grew closer than ever.
Now,I really wish life was a music player,where you can just rewind to your favourite part of the song and play it over and over.Y's this dainty vulnerable girl who gets carried away very easily.And I've always felt like her protector.(Yeah,sounds dumb-but,I have my own theories.)The main point is,I'm going to miss looking out for her.I'm gonna miss singing sa-re-ga-ma "avar" style.I'm gonna miss cracking jokes only we laughed our heads off for while the others thought we had a brain problem!I'm gonna miss her calling me "Zwadhi".I'm gonna miss sniggering at the teachers.I'm gonna miss those utterly useless and unusual conversations we have.I'm gonna miss talkin in our tha-tha language.I'm gonna miss it all.Each and everything about you,Y."Aint nobody gonna take your place!It sure is not gonna be the same without her.The morning bus rides are gonna be so lifeless and boring.:(
When she told me,I didn't tell her to stay.I know how much she wants this.That's easy to figure out considering the fact that both of us are the only ones who hate our school to the core!Naturally,we'd jump at every possible oppurtunity to get out of this place.Yeah,I'm gonna miss talking about how much we hate school!So,its her chance to start over and I'm letting go.Sure,I'm happy for her.But this hurts.I know at some point,all of us have to go different directions and I just have to deal with it.
~When the sun shines, we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath, I'ma stick it out till the end~